Book Review: The Unspoken Rules by Gorick Ng

A Candid Playbook for Navigating the Hidden Expectations of the Workplace

In The Unspoken Rules, Gorick Ng decodes the invisible norms and expectations that often determine success in the workplace—but are rarely taught. Grounded in practical advice and real-world examples, this book made me reflect deeply on what skills and mindsets I’ve been missing in my own career journey.

The book is structured into five clear sections:

1. Get Started – how to build credibility and gain trust

2. Get the Job Done – executing your responsibilities reliably

3. Send the Right Signals – managing perception and visibility

4. Get Along with Everyone – cultivating strong relationships

5. Get Ahead – understanding promotions, feedback, and growth

Each section offers actionable frameworks, memorable quotes, and most importantly, real-life insights that are often known but not practiced.

Key Lessons That Stuck with Me

Doing the Bare Minimum Gets You the Bare Minimum

Ng emphasizes that just knowing this truth isn’t enough—you have to live it daily. That shift in mindset is what separates average from exceptional performers.

Tedious Tasks Are Tests in Disguise

When you’re new, the seemingly small tasks are actually ways your manager evaluates your commitment and competence. I’ve seen this across every company I’ve worked at—it’s absolutely real.

Success Is a Mix of Preparation and Opportunity

Ng reminds us that growth isn’t just about talent or hard work—it’s also about being proactive and recognizing the right opportunities when they show up. That part really resonated with me, especially because many overlook the role of external factors in career progression.

Getting the Job Done and Sending the Right Signals

One core message is: treat every task like your reputation depends on it. That’s hard to consistently implement, but it’s a powerful shift in mindset.

Ng also dives into the importance of signaling—how you’re perceived by others often matters just as much as what you’re actually doing. When you understand the signals that matter to leadership, you can steer your energy more effectively.

Getting Ahead: The Most Eye-Opening Part

This section digs into the unspoken dynamics of career progression. It helped me understand performance evaluations, feedback, and promotions more clearly than any HR manual ever could.

1. Performance vs. Potential

Ng breaks down how companies assess employees:

This framework hit me hard—especially the last row.

I’ve always believed I could lead when necessary, but I’ve underestimated how much being liked influences whether people want to follow you.

Ng also shows that even subtle things like lack of visible enthusiasm can reduce your chances of getting promoted.

2. How to Work with Your Manager

This was one of the most surprising (and humbling) sections.

I’ve had my share of disagreements with managers, and I used to think healthy debate always led to better solutions. But Ng explains that validation matters. If your manager feels dismissed or challenged too often, it can quietly sabotage your relationship—and your growth.

Some powerful reminders:

• The spoken goal of feedback is improvement. The unspoken goal is VALIDATION.
• Apply feedback visibly—especially when your manager is watching.
• Even if you don’t agree with the feedback, consider APPLYING IT ANYWAY. That subtle shift in how you receive and act on feedback can make or break your professional trajectory.

3. Do Work That Gets You Noticed

Promotion-worthy work often falls into categories like:

• What hasn’t been done or said?

• What’s broken that you can fix?

• What bridges can you build?

But Ng also warns that not all “helpful” tasks lead to promotions—cleaning the office or grabbing coffee might be appreciated, but they rarely get reported to leadership. You have to know which actions build your image and which ones are invisible.

And finally, Ng doesn’t sugarcoat the truth:

Even if you do everything right, promotions might not come—because of company politics, biased managers, or bad timing. In such cases, it’s crucial to assess your situation honestly and seek wise counsel.

Final Thoughts

The Unspoken Rules is more than a career guide—it’s a reality check. It helped me connect the dots between what I do and how it’s perceived, and highlighted many blind spots I didn’t even know I had.

If you’re early in your career, switching roles, or trying to figure out why your hard work isn’t getting noticed, read this book. It won’t just teach you the rules—it will help you play the game smarter.

Highly recommended.

— Jul 29, 2025